जीवन पथ तो इक संघर्ष | Jeevan Path to Ek Sangharsh

--विव

Dear MJ,

The best thing happen to me is to born & brought up in my family but that's not my decision i.e. by God Grace. Indeed, I can take credit of the next best thing happened to me & that's selection of you as my life partner. Let's brutally honest about myself, I was restless with lots of ideas but less in patience to understand, how to get them executed? 
I was searching for stability in my life & in turn messing it all up. Thanks to you for letting me understand that "a good meaningful life is like climbing a mountain only having up & down's with no stable surface, searching stability in life is no different than dropping from mountain to a valley i.e. running away from life".
I am having no shame in calling you my better half as you indeed is my better half. I was nobody in past and truly I am nowhere close to perfection now but whatever little I am able to achieve today in my personal or professional life is because of you & parents, you provided me that confidence, I don't have to worry much about anything other than my ideas & work. I know & I believe that you will take care of everything else like day to day obstacles within the family, food, others expectations, relationships, social life etc. You are that good & that's too you are doing it, without any complain i.e. Unconditional Love. 
You have given your love & respect to my family & accepted it as your own & that is/was acknowledged within the family & everyone admires you. I am also thankful to you for our beautiful naughty son & we both are trying our best to raise him well, although it is not even needed to be put in here but I have too, on that front also you are playing a better role than me.
A relationship is not all about daylight, we also have our dark as well. We fight for even the silliest of the things & later discuss it & have a laugh together. This is the learning curve of life & all that's put together make it meaningful. The striking thing about myself is I am the most eccentric person you ever get & that's too seems to be an understatement but credit to you for still treating it as nothing & keeping it simple & plain.
What I said above is no exaggeration but the complete truth. We both have mutual love & respect for each other. You are doing much more than what I had done for you but that doesn't mean, that I love you or respect you any less, everyone has its own calibre to express & perform, I hope you understand what I mean......
You help me to understand everything can be achieved but with a condition that you have the right state of mind & when you truly believe that you can pull this off.

"Perfection is all about learning & understanding from imperfection. A man is not called a man till the point he is brave enough to acknowledge & understand his shortcomings...


Thank you my better half & lover still, "MJ".............




Your Everloving Stupid Husband
"MS"

Life, Gambling & We the Star

When life is all about ifs & buts, definitely our life is failing with excuses. It's too simple to understand it, basic funda is to try, fail, learn, understand & then try again. Yes, that's it, it's that simple.

Come on but no one finds it that simple, yes that's right too, simply because most of us don't understand this funda & legends don't care :)

Everyone wants to be a hero in his/her own life & again it is thrilling to have a life just like an action/masala movie. Who wants to watch a "documentary"? Even the "biopics" in today's generation are filled with masala & action. If we are that much allergic to real life movies then how can we accept a dull/plain life?

Of course, we want to treat our life as a movie, in which we are the Star, yes that's right that Bigggg Starrrr...

It's lame, we the star are having problems with the movie script Oops with our life. Now the star within us wants to be a scriptwriter too, yes its mesmerizing to be an allrounder. We need to play with the script/life now, as we want to make our life a thrilling masala movie.

Every then & now we start taking chances & gambling with life is the way to go. 

The only problem it has is the original director, GOD. God doesn't play dice & he even doesn't believe in those, who believe in gambling. The reason is pretty basic to understand, God is 16 Kala Sampurna & doesn't make mistakes. Someone who doesn't commit mistakes, never have the opportunity to learn from them & hence he doesn't understand & if someone doesn't understand obviously will not able to do a favour for us even in case he wants too.

God is more like "Shyam Benegal" & help us with pure movies like "Ankur" or "Bharat Ek Khoj". With all our fantasies we want to make "Sabse bada Khiladi" & seriously its neither his cup of tea & nor he is interested in it. Too many conflicts & god decided to left our movie & in the absence of the director, producers to pull their hands from this project.

Now with all our ego, we are like who cares, I am a star & yes a big starrrrrr...

We are all alone to work in this project/movie but even then we keep our head high as we never compromised with our ideas & fantasies, till the point, we realise that it is not a movie but our life damned & we screwed it up.

Life, Gambling & We the Star

Life is not a dream but a reality & we find it too complex & dark to live with. Now we wish that its all may turn out to be a bad dream & we surely wake up & have that simple life again. As Galib said:

Hazaron Khwahishen Aise Ke Har Khwaish Pe Dum Nikle.. Bahut Niklay Mere Armaan Lekin Fir Bhe Kum Nikle...

With all broken dream & fearing reality, we will find evaporation of our ego & then we finally realise "what is photosynthesis". Now "Khatron Ke Khiladi" become "Ramu Kaka" & instead of conflicting with God using dialogues "Mai tujhse kuch nahi mangta" our newly crowned "Ramu Kaka" will complain "Why me God, why me(Mai he kyunnnnnn)...

"It's God turn & now he will not give a damn to it, he seriously doesn't care. The only kind words which enchant our ears are "you deserve it MF...

But you see once a star is always a star, failing is not final. We have our own excuses for each & everything, again as I said life is all about ifs & buts for a failure.

Life, Gambling & We the Star

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

I found this as an interesting topic & it seems to be the ultimate truth of life, but is it actually? Let's try to dig deeper & find out.

Survival # On first look, it reflects the fight for existence, It gives us a healthy feeling of competition. It feels good to fight & to succeed. Its approach is aggressive & of an optimist.

If you look into most of the theories based on life, those theories always come to the conclusion that in this world those survive or exist who are the strongest, fittest, Quickest & sharpest.

One of the most popular theories in Science is Darwin theory. Consider as a Landmark in the "Evolution of Science".

Darwin Theory Conclusion-- Survival of the fittest.

The logic behind Darwin theory-- They have the vision, they have the speed & they have the power.

Is it the ultimate truth? If yes, then the percentage of fittest is less than 1%, then what the rest 99% will do. Most of us are not the fittest, not the quickest, not have that much vision & by no mean the strongest.

If we go by above theory, it is pretty much clear that most of us are not supposed to do things in a big way, we are not supposed to tackle difficult situations & neither supposed to be a part of revolution, which is/will be responsible to force people to think or work in a different way or to change the existing mindset/pursuit.

I respect this theory & I agree that it is partially true but it is not the complete truth. Nature is always fair & square with everyone; Fate doesn't do partiality.

Why these theories always look to one end of the coin, where is the other end? It seems these theories are inspired by Hindi movie Sholay. It looks, the author love to play with Jai coin before practising these theories.

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

Like everyone, I also have my point of views to prove worthy of my words. I completely believe in the story of tortoise & the rabbit, I also firmly believe in the movie named as "Rocky". As per survival theory, portrayed characters on those stories were bound to lose, they supposed to show their back & get the hammering but that never happened. My point of having belief on both of them is not only because they won their respective battles but, also because they were able to overcome their fear/challenges & as underdogs they kept on fighting till the very end irrespective of the odds. Due to all this, they were able to beat those who were Quicker, stronger & sharper than them.

Above reasoning shows, "one who never give up, more often than not wins, Irrespective of the ability of the opponent".

The logic behind my reasoning- Nature is such that nobody in this world is perfect, everyone has their own flaws. The strongest is not the fittest; fittest is not the quickest & true for all other qualities as well. Even the abilities of a genius are limited to a particular trait.

How is it helpful for us rest/average people?  In this competitive life, we need to prepare us as per the best of our abilities & always keep in mind that we need to fight until the very last. We need to believe that even against the people who are very best in their traits, we have our chance.

If we believe on above, what will go to happen?  Everyone will start their respective battle/competition with their strength, you will definitely get the hammering at the beginning against the more stronger opponent but if you keep your never die attitude with you & if you hang on & doesn't lose your focus. Your stronger challenger may get frustrated & may deviate from his strength/game plan & try to do things differently. That will be your chance to try to pull that game in your favour, you will succeed more often than not.

So next time if some of those people don't believe in you. Call you an average/mediocre, don't feel disheartened, just give them a warm smile & prepare for the situation. "Always remember that your actions will always roar louder than your words".

"Existence & survival are not patents to them who are the Quickest, the strongest & not even to them who are the fittest but only those survive/exist who never give up & who actually believes that they can & they will make a difference"

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

Hard to be a Man

As a male child (gender specific), We have born perfectly fine but when we grow with age down the line, we fantasies by the term "Manliness". Unknowingly, the very first thing which comes to our mind in relation to it is we are male; hence we must possess every quality to gain "Manliness". While trying to achieve so, we always keep on adding taboos to it, like man has no fear, man cannot cry/man shed silent tears, man does not show his pain, being manly we must borrow the load of everything, man cannot fail or made mistakes, life is a battlefield & man need to keep on fighting till he won & man is this/that & many more.

Keeping above things in mind, it seems really difficult to be a Man, let’s work on facts:

The man has no fear # It is perfectly fine to have some fear, I am quoting Karna from Mahabharata:

When Shalya(Sarthi of Karna) asked Karna don't you get fear by seeing roar of Arjuna Gandeev(Arc), Karna replied yes I am fearful while seeing Chariot driven by four white horses, Arjuna as fighter, Krishna as his Charioteer but my fear is keeping me conscious, awake & motivating me to fight with the best I have.

Hard to be a Man

Man cannot cry/Man shed silent tears# It is perfectly fine to show off your emotions with your loved ones, once in a while. Keep them beside you, they are the most precious jewel you ever have & they are with you in your thick & thins for a reason. Show them your love & affections & yes your emotions as well. They will motivate you & when two or more brains work together results will come.

Man does not show his pain# You are not built of Iron, you are human & there is nothing wrong in being a human. You can show your pain, the only thing that matters is how you get up & react to it that will seal your fate.

Being manly we must borrow the load of everything# Yes if you are single but if you have a family & you are doing so, then you are fooling yourself. Your parents will always guide you in the right way, you will not go wrong even a bit if you keep listening to their advice. If you are married, your wife will always be your best supporter & your worst critic, you must understand that we called her our better half for some reason, you must share & see the change.

Man cannot fail or made mistakes# it is the biggest joke of the decade, Albert Einstein once said: "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new". You must do made mistakes to learn & to understand.

Life is a battlefield & Man need to keep on fighting till he won# Yes, life is a battlefield but you must remember that we are human & we have our limits while keeping our self always in switch on mode make us tired/exhaust quickly. We cannot win our life battle in such a way. In order to maintain continuity, we must maintain a balance. We can't keep our self-switched on every time, we have to realize when to switched on & when to switched off & then when to switch on again. We need to enjoy life, we need to see the sunshine, nothing harms to have laughed to crack jokes & to see this beautiful world in relaxing mode.


You need to understand that we are no "16 kala sampoorna" i.e. only Lord Vishnu, We are not the Ironman either. We are humans & our fate is not dependent on taboo like this. Our fate totally depends on how tough we are mentally, how long we resist & how we learn from our failures/experiences, keep faith in your dreams & believe yourself!!


I am aware that now some of you will find, all my reasoning above highly debatable & you might say that I am exaggerating the facts or showing fanaticism over reality but again the word "Manliness" is itself a fanaticism term on its own. At last Be Normal & act as a human!!

Hard to be a Man

I Know Who I am

Do you ever realize, in our lives, most of the opportunities went unaddressed due to the fact that we are always conscious/fearful about what others will say or react to it? Before moving ahead, let's agree on the fact "fear is not good for success".

It is something which is fed to us, when we are growing as a child. It starts at home with Parents "Sharmaji ke bache dekho kitna padhte hain, ek tum ho cricket se subah aur cricket se shaam, fail hojaoge, Log kya kahenge(LKK), jag hasai karaoge". Same also haunt us during our school tenure when our teachers compare us with other studious students (If we are not top notch) of our class & say see how they are doing & then see how you are doing, "Zindagi me kuch karna hai ya yehi karna hai jo kar rahe ho, apne parents ko kyon dhoka de rahe ho & others in class start whispering, Ganda baccha". If we are good at studies then the fear of expectations (teachers/parents) & what others will say will always be there. The movie named "Taare Zameen Par" is an excellent example. Instances may change but somewhere down the line; it may end up covering the story for everyone.

Down the line, when we grow as an adult, we always have that LKK syndrome playing in the background & now the circumstances will be different. Now we are more conscious about how we look? How we behave? How is it to react like this/like that? What do others think about it? What others say about it? While trying to play safe, we start doing the thing which doesn't come to you naturally & it is obvious that we are not good at it. We start doing mistakes & creating trouble for us & down the line we even go more conscious about these things.

We might be good in singing/dancing/writing/sports & we may be passionate about it but we never seriously tried to have a career on this as if I fail "log kya kahenge, parent’s ke expectations ka kya hoga". So to avoid it, we again play safe with our career & try to have a decent job i.e. Naukri & that is the end of our constructive vision, because at that time we like something else & just to avoid "hard way", doing something which we don't want to do & don't have any vision about it.

Next stage, we grew older as be Man/Woman, We feed the same to our children & they do what is expected of them.

Reading all of you may argue with me that I am exaggerating the facts & dragging it too long. I know everything mentioned above is not applicable to everyone but again by giving multiple examples, I tried to touch maximum individuals I can. It is a generic problem & better to call it a syndrome or taboo. It will make us a different individual all together which we never want to be. Trust me even then other will say what they have too & you will be fearful all your life just because to avoid that altercation.

Some of you may advocate the fact that what is wrong with it? we have a settled life, we are earning good & we also are able to maintain a good work/life balance & tumhare paas koi kaam nahi hai sivaye ungli karne ke. Ok, I have a counter question then, what is the difference between us & animals? they are also doing what is good for their survival & we are no different, just by virtue of looking different do we have the right to call us human? I don't consider it as determining factor. With this attitude, we don't dare to call us as superior species. Our Ancestors not by looks but by creation by innovation by thinking by using their brains, by their daring nature & continuous efforts proven our-self as superior species over others.

Who I am

A few years back, I was no different & faced the same problem; I was reserve & even shy sometimes. It is more to do with consciousness syndrome "LKK" although I was doing good as per whatever expectation I was having that time but somewhere inside I was unwell, I was burning like a volcano, I was flowing like a river but from outside its all normal/safe like a deep ocean at the shore.

During that phase with time I realized "when I am less strained with expectation, I always deliver more". Self-realization is the key, it was the missing link & it will solve most of our problem & kill that "LKK syndrome". One wise man & that's me once said: "Till the time you don't take yourself seriously don't expect from others, think highly of yourself as everyone will believe you if you challenge them to their limits".

Problem is we don't give time to self, we tried to give our opinion in each & everything & conscious about the same from others as well but most of the times we are not brave enough to listen to our inner core. We need to understand our self-first. I always said, "Either you fear or you dare, the choice is always yours". We need to understand "who I am".

I choose the hard way, I decided to check my limits, if I will give a design, It will be without a single flaw, If I have to take a stand for what I believe, I will take, If I want to blog, I will blog, If I want to express feeling in Shayari, I will do Shayari, If I have to do counselling for someone, I will surely do it. What do others think about it? What their opinion is? Or what others will say about it? I couldn't even give damn to it.

I know I am pretty good whatever I am doing & whatever I will do & I will keep challenging myself to check my limits & one thing is pretty sure "Sky is the limit".

We need to understand "If we have some passion, we need to protect it & need to work on it to improve it even better. Others who have any business about it & what they never able to achieve in their life will try to discourage us, try to demotivate us, again the onus is always on us how we take care of our thoughts & how mentally strong we are to deal with it & keep moving forward.

The catch is "always take care of your thoughts, sooner or later you will definitely finish the line as a winner at least in your own eyes".

I always believe, "Time may get tough but I will smile knowing the fact, I am stronger today then I was yesterday & I will be stronger tomorrow then I am today".


I am loving my life, I spend time with me & that is why I am aware who I am :)

Who I am

Caste Reservation a Boon or a Curse?